Peace

Days are long. It's one thing after another and this isn't just the life of a parent, this is life. Everyday we endure routine after routine, task after task, chore after chore, yet somehow we manage to roll out of bed every morning knowing that the day will pummel our essence before handing us over to the night, in all of it's obscurity, to ponder fortitude. Everyday we defy umbrage with love. We are exploited by affliction yet we soldier on. We are confronted by trepidation still we cope with contentment. 

Maybe this tenacity comes from knowing that we have to be functioning members of society so we aren't frowned upon. Maybe it comes from the driving force of monetary gain just to keep a roof over our heads. Maybe it's the essential stability that makes us human. Perhaps it's self righteousness that allows us to feel accomplished when we meet our pillow again. Whatever it is and wherever it comes from, it is mighty.

Days are pervasive. Sleep, inconceivably concise. When we rouse we are rejuvenated with determination proving that we must be natural born pacifists, obsessed with harmony or maybe we are legitimately daft.

School Bus

Mother. My title. My children's expectations of me. Almost everyday brings a moment in time when an appreciation of the word becomes irrefutable. This could have been just another moment in the morning routine that my son and I share but it became a juncture. One that kept my feet planted as I watched him get on the bus and move swiftly to the back window to join his friend. He waved at me, I smiled and waved back. I was not lost yet still I found myself... poised at the end of the driveway as the school bus was pulling away. Watching. Even with the cold wind blowing, I stood there, concentrated on the window as it got smaller and smaller, straining my eyes as to not miss another wave if it did happen to arise. Once the bus was out of sight and my heart knew that I didn't miss a single surge of farewells, the gravel set me free. As I headed back towards home I realized that this is what we do. Everyday we are achieving motherhood when our children are content with experiencing their next adventure. No one can teach you how to be a mother, no on except your children.

Today is a good day, if nothing else happens, I can rest my head tonight knowing that I appreciate being my children's mother.