He Is Not Alone

  When that perfectly healthy baby boy was laid upon my chest in the first seconds of his life, I didn't think about what his favorite sport would be or which vegetable he'd despise, I only gazed at his beautiful face before counting his fingers and toes. There is no better teacher than life itself and the way the simple life of a seven year old can somehow turn into a struggle for normality. Being much more fortunate than others and only having a mole hill to climb, still I find myself overwhelmed with the amount of empathy a mother can have for her son. Everyday he struggles to keep his hands calm, his mouth quiet, his eyes focused and his head at peace.

  Over a year ago he was tested for allergies because of his constant clearing of the throat and grimacing. It was confirmed that he has a high mold allergy so in a mother's mind, that must be the problem. With treatment and lots of air purifying plants, the symptoms subsided. Two months later they can back only this time they had partnered up with the nervous habit of tensing his neck muscles and pulling his chin down. A few months later started the hand shaking, not like a real hand shake but more like someone would do when their hands are wet. Not long after that came the hand tremors. All of these things seem to bother me sufficiently more than they bother him, not because they are of annoyance but because I realized that these are uncontrollable for him. His body literally has a mind of it's own and it's unfortunate because the mind he has is perfectly fine. Giving your child a pill to be more normal is a tough pill to swallow but he does it and doesn't complain or even ask why. He only assumes it is to help him not clear his throat so much, which seems to be the only tic he notices. He has heard us use the term "Tic" but I know in his mind, he pictures the bug but he knows nothing of Tourette Syndrome and I shall keep it that way as to not hand him a crutch. With great hope and fingers crossed, this too shall pass.