A few weeks ago I was refreshed in my on going quest to raise decent human beings when I saw something I hadn't seen in a very long time. Probably since I was very young.
A little girl, probably three yrs. old, was bouncing around in the back of a mini van in a parking lot. Her exhausted mother was probably staring nostalgia in face while dreaming of her younger days when she didn't have to drive a mini van to tote around all of her husbands "great ideas" or "date nights" or whatever you wish to call them. The days before her ride smelled of spoiled apple juice and her hair was glittered with Cheerios, which she had to pack in a flowery snack container so other mother's thought she cared enough. Finally, the mom crawled out of the driver's seat and opened the sliding door in an attempt to manage her little monster. She told the little girl, at least five times, to hand her a pair of shoes. The little girl stomped her foot and with her fists locked at her sides she yelled "NO!" For the next three minutes the mom calmly tried to reason with the girl and coax her out from behind the back seat. Ultimately this turned into a battle which every mother of a child over the age of one is familiar with. It was the screaming child vs. the stern mother whom no matter how many times she clinched her teeth and said "Get over here... NOW!" while pointing her finger at the floor space in front of her, the child refused. "FINALLY" I thought... when the mom climbed into the back of the van, pulled the little girl out and gave her a much earned swat to her backside. I smiled as though in that very moment Mother's the world over felt a tremble of empowered again. *note to little girl... you can only tell your mother "No" so many times before she has to take action and remind you of the pecking order, you little brat. When it was all said and done, the little girl listened to what her mother told her and harmony (from the 1980's) was restored.
Sometimes it takes a little tough love to bring a child back to reality. Too many kids rule the roost at home, at the grocery store, even at school... whether it's with peers or teachers. There are parents who believe that hitting your kid is wrong, I am one of those parents. Disciplining your child without forever scarring them is completely different. We give children all the power in the world as if it's our duty. We are putting very small human beings in charge of situations which are building the big human beings they will become. We have to teach them self respect, common sense, peace and respect for others, THAT is our duty. It is our duty as parents to control our child until they are mature enough to control themselves. It is our duty as parents to teach our children right from wrong. It is our duty to show them how to love, even if it's a little tough sometimes. As parents we are responsible for what we hand the world.
If your child has such a lack of respect for others, self-respect, peace or common sense that they go to school and bully other children because you're ignoring them at home or worse, paying too much attention to them by beating them when they do something wrong and ignoring them when they do something right then I blame you! If your child lacks self-respect, common sense, peace or respect for others and goes to school with a gun, threatening or taking the lives of other children because they, themselves, were bullied, then I blame you! In the end it is your duty to Teach Our Children Well.
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